“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou

I recently posted a celebratory message on social media about my students – a heartfelt note, late at night, full of pride and joy. But instead of sharing in the sentiment, someone chose to point out a spelling mistake.

Not a thoughtful comment on the impact of the work. Not a word of encouragement. Just a sharp, public correction. And honestly? It stung. Not because I can’t handle being wrong – I frequently make mistakes. But in that moment, the joy was overlooked in favour of a “gotcha”.

That small interaction stayed with me. It made me pause and ask: Why have we become so quick to correct, critique, and condemn?

Especially online, where tone disappears, nuance is lost and empathy is easily left behind.

We live in a world where social media is both a mirror and a megaphone – reflecting who we are and amplifying what we choose to put out. In doing so, are we reflecting kindness?

READ: Our stories become our truths

Why are we so critical?

Let’s be honest. Every time we judge someone else, it’s not just about them. It often becomes a sneaky ego boost in disguise:

  • When we mock a friend’s outfit, we silently complement our own “better” taste.
  • When we roll our eyes at a colleague’s awkward phrasing in a meeting, we quietly applaud our cleverness.
  • When we point out someone’s spelling mistake on social media, we are dismissive and silently protecting a possible fragile sense of self.

And it feels good, for a moment. But it is emotional junk food. That temporary hit to your self-worth is fleeting and what lingers is a quiet discomfort; a sense that maybe we’ve become the kind of person who tears others down to feel a bit taller.

But here’s the truth: criticism of others is often just a defensive mechanism. If we can become more aware of our insecurities, we can start choosing better ways to feel good about ourselves without hurting others in the process.

The darker side of online interaction

Social media can be powerful. But it also makes cruelty convenient.

The Netflix series Adolescence shows how bullying has evolved – from the playground to online. From whispers behind backs to hashtags and humiliation. One comment, typed in seconds, can echo for days, even years.

What’s even more sobering is this:

  • More than half of all children report having experienced online bullying in some form.
  • Children exposed to cyberbullying are 50% more likely to experience suicidal thoughts.
  • Children and young adults who experience cyberbullying are more than twice as likely to harm themselves
  • And yes—WhatsApp, Instagram, Snapchat… these are now the main arenas of harm.

We may not be able to shield kids from all of it. But we can model better behaviour. We can teach by doing. Be kind. Be alert. Be a safe space.

“Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd.” Rumi

What is kindness

Kindness is not weakness. Its strength wrapped in gentleness. In a world that often feels polarised, performative, angry and perpetually offended, kindness is the rebellion.

It’s not about being agreeable or soft-spoken. It’s about choosing empathy over ego. It’s the ability to see the human behind the handle, the person behind the profile.

WATCH: Let go of emotional baggage

True kindness is intentional. It is in the decision to uplift rather than undermine. And it often shows up in the quietest ways, like a smile to a stranger, a message of support and giving someone the benefit of the doubt.

Kindness is not only about the other person; it’s good for you! Acts of kindness release dopamine and oxytocin, reduce stress, and improve mental and physical well-being. Kindness is healing for ourselves. You will live happier, healthier, and longer.

Kindness starts with being kind to yourself. It’s hard to be kind to others when you’re harsh on yourself. Self-compassion isn’t indulgence, it’s the soil where kindness grows. If we can be a little gentler on our own flaws, we might stop being so quick to pounce on others’ mistakes.

Practicing kindness

In daily life:

  • Start with presence. Look people in the eye. Put your phone down when they speak.
  • Assume good intent – not everyone is out to offend or hurt.
  • Say thank you and mean it.
  • Compliment freely without expecting anything in return.
  • Really take note of others. Not for what they can do for you, but who they are.

On social media:

  • Ask: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?
  • Praise publicly, correct privately. If your friend makes a spelling mistake on social media, send them a private DM or WhatsApp message. Have their backs!
  • Don’t pile on. Just because others are criticising does not mean you have to.
  • Be generous with encouragement and grace.

At home:

  • Model kindness. Kids learn by watching.
  • Celebrate emotional intelligence. Applaud empathy, not just achievement.
  • Talk about the impact of words—online and offline.
  • Build rituals of giving: gratitude jars, notes to teachers, volunteering etc.

 

We’re human. We mess up. In spelling, in judgment, in tone. But we get to choose how we respond. Will we correct—or connect? Will we wound—or welcome? Let’s choose kindness. Every time. Because the world doesn’t need more critics. It needs more compassion.