We’ve all noted the social media meme It’s OK not to be OK reminding us that bad times are inevitable and that feeling emotionally overwhelmed is normal at times. The daily stressors of work, family, commitments, and external triggers such as load shedding, all add a cumulative strain on our mental health. It is difficult to have a positive mindset when we are overcome by a multitude of stressors.

By embracing this meme, it is important to note that we must realise when it is time to change our lifestyle and build resilience BEFORE our mental health suffers, and be aware of when it’s time to ask for help.

READ: Building emotional resilience

Taking care of yourself

If you break a toe, you know there is not much a doctor can do. Yes, you can relieve the pain and discomfort with buddy-strapping and ibuprofen but the only thing you really can do is rest and take it slow. Interestingly, we only realise the importance of our toes for daily functioning when we hurt one!

Why do we not use the same approach to our emotional well-being? We push harder, avoid difficult conversations, shy away from getting to know and confront our emotions, and find unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol, binging on Netflix series, or scrolling aimlessly through social media.

The first step to healthy mental well-being is being conscious of our emotions and prevention through self-care.

READ: How to practice self-care

Healthy habits

Healthy sleep and exercise routines, eating better, avoiding substances, connecting with others, learning through new hobbies and experiences, and embracing spirituality, are all the basis of self-care.

These self-care practices strengthen your resilience which prepares you to better deal with those times of heightened stressors and feelings of being overwhelmed.

It is then when the meme It’s OK not to be OK finds meaning in

  • slowing us down,
  • allowing us to reconnect with our emotions,
  • identify and access the stressors,
  • making the necessary adjustments,
  • sharing our emotions with a counselor or spiritual advisor to help guide us through this period in our life
  • finding healthy ways in which to deal with the emotional unease

 Okay, but I’m really NOT okay

WATCH: Signs that you are not okay

Resilience and self-care are preventative measures to help us navigate our busy lives. They are not by any means powerful enough to assist us through enormously difficult and adverse situations and traumas.

We all experience a multitude of stressors throughout the day and our perception of these stressors and our level of resilience will determine how we handle them.

READ: Present at work but not functioning?

If we are unable to deal with the stressors and keep on building up it can lead to distress – the unhealthy levels of stress which impair our functioning:

  • Chronic (dis)stress – the accumulation of many stressors over a period such as marital discord, financial difficulties etc.
  • Experiencing loss or grief after a significant event such as losing a lost one is normal however if left unchecked it can develop into a more serious condition called acute stress disorder – the response to a personal experience of trauma, grief, loss or being a victim of physical or emotional abuse.

This distress presents through warning signs in your thoughts, feelings, and actions:

Thoughts

  • Any thoughts that life is not worth living
  • Suicidal thoughts/ thoughts of harming others
  • “Liven’t” – thinking that you are done/not wanting to live
  • Feeling useless, worthless, or hopeless
  • Anxious or intrusive thoughts
  • Hearing voices
  • Persistent concentration difficulties and forgetfulness
  • You want to improve yourself, but you do not know where to start

Feelings

  • You have difficulty regulating your emotions
  • You no longer enjoy activities you typically did
  • Excessive anxiety, worry or sadness
  • Disproportionate rage, anger, or resentment
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Fatigue

Actions

  • You are not performing as effectively at work
  • You are experiencing changes or disruptions in sleep or appetite
  • You are struggling to build or maintain relationships
  • Social withdrawal
  • You are using substances or sex to cope
  • Temper tantrums
  • Self-harm

Where to seek help

When you are experiencing any of the above it is best to seek immediate help from a mental health care expert such as a social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist.

If you can’t find access to any of these professionals contact SADAG for telephonic and virtual support available 24/7.

Take care of yourself. In the end, we are the captains of our emotional energy, and need to come to understand what energises us and which things drain us. If you don’t, you will constantly feel drained and overwhelmed.