Whether you embrace or loathe it, Valentine’s Day is hard to ignore. Radio advertisements remind you to order the chocolates, shop isles are drowning in red and pink and your social media feed is probably filled with special offers and date night ideas.

But beyond the commercial frenzy, Valentine’s Day is a great reminder to think about love and connection—not just in romantic relationships, but also in the friendships and bonds that add meaning to our lives. The truth is, that our relationships play a huge role in our mental health. They shape everything from our self-esteem to how we handle life’s ups and downs.

Studies show that people with strong social connections are 50% more likely to live longer. On the flip side, loneliness has been linked to higher rates of depression, anxiety and even physical health issues like heart disease.

Given the central role relationships play in our well-being, it’s essential to explore both the science behind love and connection and the practical steps we can take to nurture healthier relationships. Whether you are navigating romantic partnerships, deepening friendships, or fostering self-love, this blog will guide you toward building stronger, more supportive connections.

READ: Are you quietly quitting your relationship?

The neuroscience of love and connection

Love isn’t just a feeling – it’s a biological process deeply wired into our brains. Neuroscience shows that love and connection activate the brain’s reward system, releasing feel-good chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. These “feel-good” hormones play a crucial role in bonding, trust, and emotional regulation.

Oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” is released during physical touch like hugging or holding hands, and moments of emotional closeness. It helps us build trust and deepens our connections with others. Similarly, Dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward, reinforcing positive interactions and encouraging us to seek out meaningful relationships.

But when we lack healthy relationships, our stress hormone, cortisol can go into overdrive. Chronic loneliness or toxic relationships can throw our brain chemistry off balance, increasing anxiety, depression and even physical health issues. This is why surrounding ourselves with positive, supportive people is so important for our mental and emotional well-being.

Recognising healthy and toxic relationships

Not all relationships nourish us. Some help us grow while others drain our energy. Here’s how to spot the difference:

Red flags (toxic relationships):

  • Constant criticism: When someone frequently puts you down, it can chip away at your self-worth.
  • Lack of trust: Dishonesty, secrecy or ongoing jealousy.
  • Manipulation or control: If someone tries to guilt-trip you or dominate decisions
  • Emotional neglect: Lack of empathy, support, or genuine interest in your well-being.
  • Chronic conflict – Arguments that never get resolved can lead to ongoing stress and anxiety.

WATCH: How to manage conflict

Green flags (healthy relationships):

  • Open communication: Both parties feel heard and understood without fear of judgment.
  • Mutual respect: Differences are accepted and valued without attempts to control or change the other person.
  • Emotional support: Partners or friends encourage each other’s growth and provide comfort in challenging times.
  • Trust: Both parties can rely on each other and feel secure in the relationship.
  • Healthy boundaries: Individual needs and limits are respected without guilt or resentment.

Building healthier connections

Positive relationships don’t just happen—they require effort and intentionality. Here are some key strategies for nurturing healthier connections:

  • Communication: Honest, respectful communication is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. Practice active listening, express your needs clearly and be open to feedback.
  • Empathy: Try to understand the feelings and perspectives of others. Empathy encourages deeper emotional connections and reduces misunderstandings.
  • Mutual respect: Value each other’s opinions, boundaries and individuality. Avoid dismissive or controlling behaviours.
  • Conflict management: Disagreements are inevitable, but how you handle them matters. Focus on finding solutions rather than assigning blame and approach conflict with a mindset of collaboration.
  • Quality time: Spend intentional time together, free from distractions. Whether it’s a meaningful conversation or shared activities, these moments strengthen bonds.

The role of self-love in mental health and relationships

A healthy relationship with yourself lays the foundation for healthy connections with others. Self-love isn’t about selfishness or arrogance. it’s about recognising your worth and treating yourself with kindness and compassion.

Why does self-love matter?

Self-esteem and relationship dynamics: When you value yourself, you’re less likely to tolerate toxic behaviours and more likely to set healthy boundaries. High self-esteem enables mutual respect in relationships.

Emotional resilience: Cultivating self-love helps you bounce back from challenges and reduces the need for external validation.

To practice self-love, focus on activities that nurture your well-being. This might include mindfulness, journaling, regular exercise or seeking therapy to address past wounds. Affirming your strengths and practicing gratitude can also reinforce a positive self-image.

Reflecting on your relationships

As Valentine’s Day approaches, take a moment to evaluate your relationships. Are they supportive and nurturing, or do they drain and overwhelm you? Reflect on how you can strengthen the connections that matter most while setting boundaries in those that negatively impact your mental health.

Remember, building healthy relationships takes time and effort, but the rewards—greater happiness, resilience, and emotional stability—are well worth it. And don’t forget that the relationship you have with yourself is just as important as any bond you share with others. Prioritise self-love and emotional growth, and you’ll find that every connection in your life becomes more fulfilling.

Let’s celebrate love in all its forms—romantic, platonic and self-love—and commit to nurturing the connections that truly support our mental health and well-being.