MY BLOG2021-07-02T18:27:41+02:00

Laying down the boxing gloves

By |May 30, 2023|Categories: Articles|

Conflict and disagreement are an inevitable part of any relationship. Two people with different backgrounds, personalities, perspectives, beliefs, experiences, and tastes can lead from minor everyday annoyances to serious relationship-crushing conflict. Disagreements, struggles and heated debates can be very stressful and become harmful when you feel that you are under attack and need to continuously defend yourself instead of focusing on solving the issue. WATCH: Having difficult conversations Common conflict stressors include: insecurity resentment financial and family responsibilities emotional stonewalling power and control selfishness criticism unreasonable expectations infidelity loss of passion an inability to regulate one’s own emotions (think about [...]

The past is the best teacher

By |April 28, 2023|Categories: Articles|

“Like sand on a beach, the brain bears the footprints of the decisions we have made, the skills we have learned, the actions we have taken” (Begley, 2007) We all have a past. Regardless of our memories of growing up, family structure and home life, or the challenges, traumas, and choices along the way, they have all left a few marks. Our past shapes us into the person that we are today and influences how we approach life. It is natural to use the past reflectively in guiding our decisions today and to think back with the warmth (or the [...]

What does happiness look like?

By |March 27, 2023|Categories: Articles|

Each year when the Happiness Index Report is released we as South Africans realise just how much adversity we face on a daily basis. Price hikes, corruption, violence and abuse, failed state-owned enterprises, and poverty all add to our anxiety levels and overall outlook on life. Let’s face it: it’s hard to be upbeat during these trying times. But what does happiness look like? Is it getting married? Achieving at work? Being recognised for outstanding performance, social standing, or buying a house? All these factors certainly contribute but they are by no means the definitive answer to happiness. Happiness is [...]

Wine o’clock – the big exhale

By |February 27, 2023|Categories: Articles|

Wine has become shorthand for relaxation. That well-deserved break after a long day of working and parenting, signaling the start of the last shift before bedtime. The never-ending wine o’clock memes to escape, cope and reward oneself for the daily struggles and stressors have become synonymous with especially mothers. Announcing you need a drink when feeling stressed or exhausted is usually met with enthusiastic agreement and encouragement from fellow mothers. The opening of a bottle of wine becomes the big exhale. But it is important to note that anyone drinking to self-medicate or develop an addiction to alcohol is a [...]

New Year, Same Tired You

By |January 26, 2023|Categories: Articles|

We have literally entered the year with a multitude of flat batteries: physically, emotionally, and to add to the discomfort, also Eskom-induced. It has been a tough couple of years and our personal batteries are battered and flat, and practically depleted before the end of the first month. To add to the pressure, we are frantically installing solar, inverters, and UPS systems, stressing about rising costs and being forced to navigate school arrangements, work pressure, and domestic commitments around Eskom’s load-shedding timetable. It is a lot to bear. But I just had a holiday why am I so tired? It [...]

Quietly quitting on your relationship

By |November 28, 2022|Categories: Articles|

Quietly quitting on your relationship The latest trend of quiet quitting – doing the bare minimum at work – sees people actively refraining from going the extra mile and disengaging from giving it their all. READ: Intentional boundary setting at work – why quiet quitting is not all that glam  This active emotional disengagement is also found outside of the workplace in the form of quietly quitting relationships. Many years ago, a marriage counsellor colleague said she preferred couples that argue. During a fight, there is often name-calling, outspoken blaming, and signs of resentment. Naturally, a fight is not pleasant [...]

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