“Like sand on a beach, the brain bears the footprints of the decisions we have made, the skills we have learned, the actions we have taken” (Begley, 2007) We all have a past. Regardless of our memories of growing up, family structure and home life, or the challenges, traumas, and choices along the way, they have all left a few marks. Our past shapes us into the person that we are today and influences how we approach life. It is natural to use the past reflectively in guiding our decisions today and to think back with the warmth (or the [...]

Each year when the Happiness Index Report is released we as South Africans realise just how much adversity we face on a daily basis. Price hikes, corruption, violence and abuse, failed state-owned enterprises, and poverty all add to our anxiety levels and overall outlook on life. Let’s face it: it’s hard to be upbeat during these trying times. But what does happiness look like? Is it getting married? Achieving at work? Being recognised for outstanding performance, social standing, or buying a house? All these factors certainly contribute but they are by no means the definitive answer to happiness. Happiness is [...]

Wine has become shorthand for relaxation. That well-deserved break after a long day of working and parenting, signaling the start of the last shift before bedtime. The never-ending wine o’clock memes to escape, cope and reward oneself for the daily struggles and stressors have become synonymous with especially mothers. Announcing you need a drink when feeling stressed or exhausted is usually met with enthusiastic agreement and encouragement from fellow mothers. The opening of a bottle of wine becomes the big exhale. But it is important to note that anyone drinking to self-medicate or develop an addiction to alcohol is a [...]

Quietly quitting on your relationship The latest trend of quiet quitting – doing the bare minimum at work – sees people actively refraining from going the extra mile and disengaging from giving it their all. READ: Intentional boundary setting at work – why quiet quitting is not all that glam  This active emotional disengagement is also found outside of the workplace in the form of quietly quitting relationships. Many years ago, a marriage counsellor colleague said she preferred couples that argue. During a fight, there is often name-calling, outspoken blaming, and signs of resentment. Naturally, a fight is not pleasant [...]

We’ve all noted the social media meme It’s OK not to be OK reminding us that bad times are inevitable and that feeling emotionally overwhelmed is normal at times. The daily stressors of work, family, commitments, and external triggers such as load shedding, all add a cumulative strain on our mental health. It is difficult to have a positive mindset when we are overcome by a multitude of stressors. By embracing this meme, it is important to note that we must realise when it is time to change our lifestyle and build resilience BEFORE our mental health suffers, and be [...]